My five-year-old has a playmate from our neighborhood, who she loves to play with. Last week, we went to this other little girl’s house, met her parents, and agreed that the girls could go back and forth and play in each other’s houses if they wanted to. My daughter was elated, but I was worried. Why? Because her little friend had a large cold sore over her lip. By a stroke of luck, no one in my family has picked up HSV-1 yet. I’m not very concerned about avoiding it, but all else being equal, I’d prefer not. I also know I can’t police all my daughters interactions with other children, nor would I want to.
Should I be concerned about my daughter sharing food or roughhousing with a kid who has an open cold sore? If that is a real concern, how can I communicate with her about it without seeming scary or discriminatory? Do I just need to strengthen my rules about physical play with all kids?
Thanks for the advice,
S
Hey,
That’s a really good question!
HSV (both 1 and 2) can be transmitted through non-direct contact. So, kid-friend drinks out of a cup + your daughter drinks out of the same cup within a few hours = transmission is likely. Hands, cups, utensils, and toys are the things I’d really worry about.
What I do with my kids who have cold sores is to remind them that they have a “boo-boo lip” (it evolved, I’m not sure that’s the terminology I’d foster now) and that washing their hands and not sharing things that touch their mouths are really important. For the kids that don’t have them, I have the same reinforcements plus the knowledge that the first few cold sores really, really hurt and it’s best to avoid them if possible.
In this instance, I’d talk to the kid’s parents. Ask them how they deal with the idea of transmission with their daughter so that you can supplement and re-enforce them. I would talk to your daughter about how the virus that causes those sores is really strong, and can survive outside of a person’s body for several hours. Reinforce that it’s important to keep track of what has been in her mouth and what has been in her friend’s, and that washing her hands thoroughly and often is important. That should be easy for your daughter to grasp and isn’t judgemental at all.
In short, I wouldn’t limit their playtime but I would make sure that they’re supervised when they’re eating so that they can be supported in keeping their germs to themselves.
Hope that helps!
Jessica